The Outer Work

During this time of deep struggle and fear, I am struck by the sense of inner corruption magnified time and again on our 24-hour news shows. Politicians, CEO's, bankers, mortgage lenders...the list goes on and on. One wonders how did these leaders get so bad. Did they start this way or was there some form of "soul loss" that worked itself into their inner nature? This behavior would be literally unbelievable was it not happening to my 401K.

I can't believe that they started their careers to screw us, that their first day of work they awoke, looked in the mirrors and said, "My dream is to ruin lives." Even Bernie Madoff, couldn't have started his career as a Ponzi scheme. He must have somewhere been about something better.

There is nothing sadder than those who try to change the world but have never looked inward to change themselves first. It is an opportunity rife for some form of destruction. The worst to witness are the falls from grace of people who held our highest esteem. Religious leaders who became sexual predators, political leaders tainted by corruption, and spiritual leaders who ended up egomaniacs. This doesn't even mention those entrusted with our own personal dreams of homes and financial futures.

We know this intuitively because our greatest societal hero's are those who either through circumstance or hard work used their lives as a mirror to change that which was around them. Think Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, Jane Goodall or Mother Teresa. It is the best and only place to start, and so few people really ever go there.

I once asked a wise teacher the best advice she had for finding other wise teachers. "How do you really know" I wondered, "that someone's character is trustworthy?"

Her answer was quite profound.

"Always make sure this teacher is a "learner" at least once a season", she said. "It doesn't matter what they do, it can be anything, as long as it is out of their comfort zone. The key is they must be in a place that has them as a beginner. By being a beginner we stay humble. When we are humble we do not become over-attached to our role. It is when we become too heavily identified with what we do versus who we are that we are open to...mischief."

The theologian Meister Eckart said it another way, “The outer work will never be great if the inner work is small.” In this change of season are you doing anything that has you as a beginner? What new opportunities await that will smooth the rough edges off your ego, by putting you in a place of discomfort and newness? Remember, ultimately every loss of ego is a win for our integrity.

To Act Without Knowing

In the late 70’s, as a student at Hampshire College in Amherst, Massachusetts, I was part of a small group of individuals who were protesting the current South African government. Our intention was to get the board of the college to divest it’s stock from all companies engaged in business practices in that country. Our thought was, put public pressure to bear through industry, and begin to create a larger movement of collegiate awareness. At that point Hampshire was only six years old, a wonderful collective idea born from the minds of local educators wanting to create a different kind of college experience. The board was keeping the place running with almost no endowment or reserves, dedicated but underpaid faculty and a very small but enthusiastic student body—in short rubber bands and duct tape.

Managing some very precious and limited funds, the board was largely unmoved by our enthusiasm. As part of our strategic response, and borrowing from lessons learned in the 1960’s, we “took over” the administration building, holding a multi-day sit-in. With guitars strumming, students barring the doors and home made protest signs hanging from the windows, we vowed to stay until we saw action. We got a commitment to begin serious dialogue.

In 1979, through courageous vision, hard discussion and probably some less than wanted national publicity, the board did in fact do just what the students wanted. Hampshire became the first college in the United States to divest its portfolio of all businesses operating in South Africa. Though a tiny institutional amount it set off a wave of similar action throughout the country. Historical record shows that in 1994, South Africa opened its polls to a fully representative democratic election and as a consequence Nelson Mandela became president.

At the time did I think there was a connection? Of course not! It would be a huge act of hubris to even consider the idea. It was, and for 29 years remained, a distant memory and occasional eye-rolling story told to my kids.

But on November 30, 2008 my wife and I attended a concert in Boston of the Soweto Gospel Choir, South Africa’s premier gospel chorus. At the end of the concert their spokesperson asked us to stand for the South African national anthem. At its conclusion, she preceded to say something that caught my attention. She solemnly began. “I want to personally thank the people of Massachusetts,” she announced. “It was here that the collegiate divestment strategy was born. It ended up creating a movement that helped change our country forever.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I turned to me wife, and said, “Oh my God. She’s talking about Hampshire! That was me!” My wife patted my leg, and sweetly smiled. It remains one of my proudest moments.

We never know, do we, what a small and passionate act will set in motion? It may take years, decades in fact, to become reality. Great dreams can rarely be judged in the moment. The changes that occur, especially those of large injustice, often take significant time to be felt. Many times this change can happen without us even being aware. Yet this begs a very important question; are you willing to act, even if your work never knowingly makes a difference?

It is one of our most profound cultural myths--that our problems are too big, and the issues too large, for each of us to have impact. That somehow we don’t really count. Guidance to this battle comes from the Jewish phrase "tikkun olam", which means, “To repair the world”. The belief is that at some point, the very fabric of the universe was ripped into many pieces, but if each of us takes one small section and does our part, we can over time repair the whole. We may never know what the sewing of our section does, but in the end it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that we begin.

The Choice of Conflict

One day a scorpion asks a frog to help it get to the other side of a deep lake.

“Can you swim me on your back across the water?” asks the scorpion.

“Are you crazy?” says the frog. “You’re a scorpion. You’ll sting me and I’ll die!”

The scorpion calmly responds, “That’s silly. I can’t swim. If I sting you, and you die, then I’ll drown. Why would I do that?”

The frog considers this, and says, “Makes sense. Hop on my back. I’ll take you to the other side.”

About halfway across the lake, the scorpion suddenly, and without warning, drives it’s stinger into the frog. Gasping in pain and dying, the frog pleads, “Why did you do that? Now we will both die?”

The scorpion calmly answers, “I can’t help it. It’s what I do. It’s my nature.”

Consider for a moment all the struggles you have in your life that revolve around problematic relationships. How many of these struggles are long term and rarely seem to break through. You can fight the issues, consistently be disappointed, and find yourself forever frustrated. But if it is in their nature, that is, if what you want changed is not who they are, you are more likely to find yourself in a pattern of conflict retread than anything else.

If this is a conflict that has occurred three times previously, ask yourself the following: Have I presented my concerns fairly and reasonably? If yes, then is it in this person’s nature to be different? If you know it honestly is not, can you accept them for who they are, without expectation?

So much of the battle is in our minds, and not as we think, the responsibility or problem of the other person. If you can get to a place of acceptance of this basic truth, it may not be ideal, but you may find that a sense of relief and calm begins to pervade the relationship.

If you cannot, then lower your expectations or appropriately and with integrity withdraw from the relationship.

In the end, what happens in us is far greater than what happens to us. It is our one true option.